Frosty Like You've Never Seen Him Before
Friday, December 04, 2009 9:03 AM

by Bryan Fischer

The animated story of Frosty the Snowman has been a holiday staple for decades, and was certainly a Christmas favorite in our household.

But that was then. CBS has produced an advertisement which airs on its website, "Frosty the Inappropriate Snowman," which has Frosty, voiced by Neil Patrick Harris from the sitcom, ""How I Met Your Mother," saying a variety of bizarre things dubbed over classic footage.

According to (link to video embedded in story):

Harris' Frosty said things like, "We've got to have a bros' night at a strip club" because it's "healthy" and "harmless." He also discussed his "porn collection" and "the Dominator 8000 - the best bull whip on the market."

Well-known scenes of the classic Frosty delighting children by coming to life were perverted by the ad which included Frosty saying, "I have been with a lot of women. Blondes. Brunettes. Redheads. Big boobs. Small boobs. Medium boobs. Some boobs that were big but kind of in a bad way."

The new, crude snowman also encouraged the white rabbit in the movie to have sexual fantasies: "You should have hit that. Dude, your pants were already off. You had a classroom full of people to cheer you on. And you can't knock her up because it's a dream."

The voiceovers also included lines showing "Frosty's" willingness to punch anyone - "I'll punch a baby. I don't care" - and his delight in "scoring front row seats to a lethal injection."